Text 20 Oct 189 notes

Anonymous said: What if instead of babies coming out of a vagina, a vagina comes out of a baby?

communistbakery:

how do you come up with a question like this

Video 20 Oct 455,316 notes

iamsmallcat:

the last one killed me

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

Text 20 Oct 522,655 notes Dad spends school year waving at bus, embarrassing son

arlert-armin:

vvntheshort:

iswearimnotadumbblonde:

urethrafranklin:

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I can’t decide if this is the best or the worst dad ever

If a man wakes up every day to put on a costume SOLELY to wave his child off to school, he is a dedicated father and truly one of the best out there, even tho this probably embarrassed the shit out of his kid

im going to be this father

(Source: thighrabanks)

Photo 20 Oct 747,695 notes spaceyiffs:

tonyswirl:

ineffable-hufflepuff:

misandryevans:

babymarkers:

the-chocolate-chip-pancake:

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

none pizza with left beef

It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef

ive missed you

#THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING JUST THE BEEF#YOU COULD TELL THE POOR CHEF WAS JUST FUCKING#DISGUSTED#WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS#WHAT THE F U C K IS THIS#WHO THE FUCK ORDERS A#A /NONE/ PIZZA?? JUST BEEF ON THE LEFT???#FUCK IT#F U CK IT#JUST COOK THE FUCKING DOUGH#HERE LET ME THROW THIS FUCKING HANDFUL OF OBLONG BEEF CHUNKS AT YOUR NONE FUCKING PIZZA#FUCK YOU#FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU STAND FOR#LEFT FUCKING BEEF (via askscientistcarlos)

I love None Pizza with Left Beef.

3th time i’ve reblogged this

3th
Text 20 Oct 52 notes

hetaliaswitzerland:

spooky-aaaaarlert:

hetaliaswitzerland:

my anaconda is indecisive

but I have the buns hun

my anaconda is quite fond of that

(Source: hetaliabeilschmidt)

Photo 20 Oct 315,986 notes flowergirlrobichiko:

thecatsmustbecrazy:

special delivery

BRING ME SCHRÖDINGER’S HEAD

flowergirlrobichiko:

thecatsmustbecrazy:

special delivery

BRING ME SCHRÖDINGER’S HEAD

Text 19 Oct 210,024 notes

nivalingreenhow:

when McGonagall finds out that Ginny is pregnant, and that the Weasley and Potter bloodlines will converge, she marks on her calender the day the child will turn 11 and that is the day she retires 

Photo 19 Oct 125,924 notes thewrithingsouth:

tommywrightlll:

jzk:

holy shit

i dont get it

holy shit

thewrithingsouth:

tommywrightlll:

jzk:

holy shit

i dont get it

holy shit

(Source: imreallycoolandfriendly)

via iconic.
Photo 19 Oct 493,086 notes kuriipaakun:
via iconic.
Photo 19 Oct 393,063 notes sunnyinwisconsin:

colossaltitan:

calypso53:

one of my favorite things about hiking is when i come across a strange structure deep in the woods and am left to wonder how and why and when

how: demons. why: demon portal. when: 5 pm demon time

it’s always 5pm demon time, somewhere

sunnyinwisconsin:

colossaltitan:

calypso53:

one of my favorite things about hiking is when i come across a strange structure deep in the woods and am left to wonder how and why and when

how: demons. why: demon portal. when: 5 pm demon time

it’s always 5pm demon time, somewhere

(Source: deadlords)

Text 19 Oct 575,145 notes

heathenotharlot:

zabuza:

when kids stare at you for a long time

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gottagetsomegreene
Text 19 Oct 438,253 notes

heathenotharlot:

hungarian:

if u rub your boobs together it will start a fire

They are then referred to as:
smoldering boulders

Text 19 Oct 20 notes

falloutboytoy:

HA school board i used my NORMAL handwriting JOKES on YOU

Text 19 Oct 24 notes

heathenotharlot:

falloutboytoy:

festus-nuggets:

I am so tired of being looked at in disgust when I tell people I’m a slytherin 

it just means were crafty for christs sake

Honestly, you should probably be a walkin. I’m sure it’s better for your posture.

(Source: spoopy-festus)

Text 19 Oct 13 notes

heathenotharlot:

Teacher: bring your motivation to class every day

Me: you’re welcome to check middle school, I’m sure it’s crawling around there somewhere


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